Feb 21, 2010: First Sunday of Lent

(Audio of this homily: click here)

The other day I was in the confessional, a lady made a comment as she left: "Father Paul, thank you for being a holy priest." After the lady left, I sat there thinking, "Holy priest? How am I a holy priest? I'm a sinner whom God chose to use as an instrument." Up until two years ago, I spent most of my time in the confessional, on the opposite side of the priest, confessing how weak and frail I was and confessing how many times I have fallen even with tremendous grace of God. I was reminded of this when I was giving a talk at a RCIA retreat this weekend about the Sacrament of Reconciliation. For many preparing to come into Catholic Church from Protestant denominations, their primary question was, "Why should I confess my sins to a priest, a man who is as frail and prone to failure as I? Why can't I confess to Jesus, who did not sin, directly?" My gut answer was, "You're right. Why would you want to confess to another sinner who may be less holier than you?" Would you not want someone who is far advanced in holiness in order to heal you and to forgive you?

When I meditated on the Gospel for today, I wondered if I would have passed the temptations that Satan proposed to Jesus. Would you have passed the temptations? Holy Spirit inspired Jesus to be led into the desert where he fasted for 40 days. First knowing that Jesus was extremely weak from 40 days without food, Satan tempted Jesus in his hunger, "If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread." When does Satan tempt us? When we are weak--when we are hungry, tired, or bored. We could be staying up late at night, surfing on the net or flipping through movie channels, and unexpectedly, we come upon images that we should not linger on. When we are tired or bored, we may give in to the temptation. In another situation when we are tired and weak, we may be tempted to lash out in anger or say something hurtful to our loved ones when they demand something of us. What should we do in these situation? Jesus replied to Satan, "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." What does the Word of God say about being tempted to lust? Jesus said, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Elsewhere he said, "Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God." And what does the Word of God say about being tempted to anger? Jesus said, "But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment." Elsewhere he said, "Blessed are the gentle, for they shall have the earth for their heritage." The Lord is talking about gentleness as strength restrained by love. There is much God's grace that awaits us when we let lust and anger pass over us.

In the next temptation, Satan showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world and enticed Jesus to accept power and glory. For most of us, Satan tempts us to accept a shortcut to a desired result. For teenagers, it's copying their friend's homework so they can have more free time for play. For adults, one temptation is to achieve something worldly by compromising our relationship with God and His moral law. Those who are smart will fall into the temptation to use it to lord it over and dominate others rather than to serve them. How often this can happen between husbands and wives or between friends or with customers and clients? Yet Jesus rebukes Satan, "You shall worship the Lord, your God, and him alone shall you serve." We are not to be self-serving. Instead Jesus said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." (Matt 5:7)

In the last temptation, Satan takes Jesus to the top of the temple and tempts Jesus to test God the Father. Satan wants Jesus to be presumptuous with God. I can remember how presumptuous I was with God after I got "saved" at a non-denominational prayer group in college. The bible classes that I went to after being "saved" taught me that by being saved, all of my past, present, and future sins were forgiven. There was assurance that no matter what I did, I was forgiven. This gave me comfort. But this also led me to presumptions. Does this mean that even if I break the Ten Commandments from now on, I am already forgiven? Did this mean that I would never have to confess those sins to God that I committed after conversion, repent of them, or no need to forgive others who sinned against me? Watching a movie called, "The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima" cured me of that presumption. After the three children were shown a vision of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven by Blessed Mother, I grabbed a legal pad and began to write down all my sins of the past which I presumed were forgiven without really even asking God for forgiveness. They were the sins of pride, anger, lust, gluttony, envy, laziness, and greed. And I filled several pages of legal pad. Sometimes folks who come into my confessional remind me of my old self. They say, "Father, it's been 20 years since my last confession. All I can remember is that I forgot to attend some Sunday masses and I could have been more patient with others. That's all." Usually I say to myself, "Ahhh, here before me is Paul Yi from 1996." I then ask them to say "Yes or No" to the Seven Deadly Sins. "Are you sorry for all the times you have been prideful?" I always get "Yes" on all seven questions. On one hand, we cannot put ourselves repeatedly in a near occasion of sin and then expect God to save us from the consequences of the slippery slope into serious sin that results. On the other hand, we cannot presume that we are in such a close and amicable relationship with God when we have offended him so often and not a single "I'm sorry, forgive me" rolls out of our heart.

The beautiful part about being a priest of Jesus Christ is that although I may not be any holier than the person sitting in the pew, God the Father, in his generosity and mercy, chose to give the authority and power to forgive sins to a group of weak and frail men, precisely to show that the power to forgive sins belong exclusively to Him alone. "We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One Who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet never sinned" (Heb 4:15) Only Jesus alone have been tested, yet never sinned. I on the other hand, have been tested and sinned many times. But I do know how to sympathize with our weaknesses because I have been there and done that and know how challenging yet rewarding it is to be holy, only with God's grace.