March 16, 2010: Staci Pepitone Funeral Homily

If you ever followed Staci on Twitter, here are some of Staci’s last thoughts:

• Nov. 19, 2009, “I’m at work...yay!”
• June 22, 2009, “I am very blessed to have not only good friends, but great friends. I couldn’t have come to my non-chemo status without you!”
• May 10, 2009, “Beautiful day, terrific mama-san, Celtics win. It's been a good day!
• Feb. 27, 2009, “Listening to ‘Bye Bye American Pie’ and waiting for the chemo to finish drippin'.
• July 8, 2009: “I want my stamina levels to magically come back to what they were...Making progress, but impatient!”

You can really hear Staci’s personality coming through even in her Twitters, right? Here is an interesting Twitter from April 27, 2009:

“To get something you never had, you must do something you never did...(makes sense, but tricker than it sounds.)”

Why did this quote struck a bell in Staci? Did it reflect how she wanted to live her life? The quote says, ‘You must do something you never did.’ What does it take for us to do something we never did? There is a lot of fear, isn’t there when we try to do something new. And isn’t there a lot fear when we try to get to know someone new, especially someone who falls outside of our comfort zone? So in order to get to know someone  new, in order to understand new, if not uncomfortable ideas, we have to stretch. So we must do something we never did, in order to get something new.

Isn’t this how Staci lived her life and how she challenged us to live? Her mother, Brenda (or aka Mama-San in her Twitter) told me that Staci had this sign hanging outside her apartment: “Be kind: Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Many years ago Staci was one of the first persons on LSU campus to bring AIDS quilt. She wasn’t instantly praised for this action; in fact she was criticized. But what was she challenging us to do? To be kind to another human person, all of whom Jesus loved unconditionally, who were battling and suffering not only their illness but stigma. Staci took Our Lord Jesus’ challenge seriously. How does Our Lord challenge us? In Matthew’s Gospel we read, “'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.' One of the great challenge as a Christian on this earthly life is to conform our heart to that of Jesus so that we can see and love as he did. Isn't that how Staci wanted to challenge herself and us?

Staci herself had to undergo severe suffering with illness, esophageal cancer, which eventually took her life. She chronicled her journey with her cancer on a website called, 'www.geauxpastcancer.org' In one of her entries she said this:

"I'm not wearing my wig anymore. It is getting warm in Louisiana and it was itchy and my sensibility won out over my vanity. I have little sproutlets of hair and it doesn't look great, but it feels better that is for sure! It only took me losing my hair 3 times to get to this spot. The other times, the wig was securely on my head for the smallest of trips outside the house...or for any visitors! Occasionally I get funny looks but no one has had the guts to say anything mean...I've had friends experience that. If they did, I'd have a snappy comeback."

One of the reasons why she wanted to share her cancer experience with the rest of the world was that she knew that cancer attacks not only our body but our place in our community. Once you announce that you have cancer, you don't get invited to many things anymore; your friends begin to think that you'll be too weak to be there. But moreover, they are fearful of uncomfortable conversations. So the person with cancer gradually gets left out of her usual support system. Staci said this on her website: "Cancer is scary, and it demands a lot of time, but I believe it doesn't have to control what kind of person I am. I'm optimistic and happy (most of the time) and cancer is never going to change that." I'm glad that last Friday, our local newspaper carried the story of Fr. Than Vu (the pastor of The Christ the King Catholic Church on LSU)
and his battle with cancer. Fr. Vu and Staci showed people that you can still be active and enjoy life living with cancer. Staci was remarkable in that those who encountered her did not know she was battling cancer, for she did not let her pain and suffering take her joy away.

So what was Staci's source of strength amid cancer and her gift to see the persons as they truly are rather than by their labels or appearances? Each weekend, Staci spent time before her true love, Our Lord Jesus Christ at mass. At each mass, Staci experienced for herself, how much Lord loved her and sacrificed for her. When she heard the priest pronounce the words, "Take this all of you and drink from it. This is the cup of my blood, the blood of the new and everlasting covenant. It will be shed for you and for all so that sins may be forgiven. Do this in memory of me," she knew in that chalice was the blood of her beloved Christ, shed for her. Therefore, she listened intently and carried out what Lord asked her to do, just as St. Paul directed the Colossians in our Second Reading:

"Put on then, as God's chosen one, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do...And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body...And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

In your encounters with Staci, have you came across a person showed you compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness? As Staci has put her Lord's words into action, so must you also put Our Lord's words into action.