Feb. 27, 2011: 8th Sunday Ordinary (A)

Click to hear audio homily

All this week, I was scheduled to give talks to parents whose children are preparing for their First Communion.  In preparing for the talks, I asked my self what I remembered about my First Communion.  (How many of you remember your First Communion? Which church? What were you wearing? Do you still have some of the gifts that you received, especially, a rosary? Do you pray with it?) I still have photos from when I received my First Communion when I was 9-years old. I was in Korea, then. The boys wore white albs and the girls wore white dresses with white veils. Other than the photos, I do not recall anything else about the experience. I then asked myself, when did I truly realize that the Eucharist was literally the body, soul, and divinity of Jesus? For that answer, I really had to jog back in my memory to the time between my First Communion and when I entered seminary almost 9 years ago.

Looking back over the past 29 years of my life since my childhood First Communion, I'm amazed at how many times I went in the wrong direction (and sometimes dangerous direction) and somehow God brought me back. I remember the times that I hung out with the wrong crowd in high school--mingling with kids who dabbled in New Age philosophy. I lost my faith as a result--I no longer believed in Jesus, Heavenly Father, or Blessed Mother. Yet, my mother still brought me to church for Mass, and I received Eucharist with that prideful attitude. Then I remember the moment I got to college; I spent Friday and Saturday nights going out clubbing and reserved Sundays for sleeping and recovering. It was a self-destructive lifestyle with no Eucharist on Sundays to nourish my soul.  As my soul shriveled up, I hit bottom. One day I walked around the college campus very confused and depressed, not knowing whether it was worth living another day. By chance, my girl friend at that time invited me to a non-denominational prayer meeting, and there I said a prayer to accept Jesus in my life. That was the beginning of my soul being nourished again. I was aware that I was loved. I understood the passage from our First Reading, "Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you." (Is 49:14-15)

Following that church experience, I attended other churches of various denominations, all except Catholic. Each denomination had its version of 'communion' where a small piece of bread and a thimble of grape juice were given. Each church emphasized their communion as a symbol and remembrance of the Last Supper. My love for the Lord continued to grow but I was not attending the church my mother wanted me to attend --- the Catholic Church.  But it wasn't my earthly mother who brought me back to the Catholic Church, it was Blessed Mother. It was after watching the movie "The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima" that I began to investigate Blessed Mother's apparitions that had occurred around the world. And alongside her apparitions, I noticed miracles involving Eucharist. One that caught my attention was a miracle that happened in 1266 in Santarem, Portugal, only an hour away from Fatima. A young wife was distraught by her husband's infidelities and sought a sorceress for a solution. The sorceress told the wife to bring back a consecrated host from Mass as an ingredient for a love-potion. The wife went to Mass, received the Eucharist, and placed it in a handkerchief and immediately the host began to bleed. Frightened, the wife took the bloody handkerchief home and hid it in her bedroom drawer. That night, mysterious bright light emitted from the drawer, and the wife told her husband what had happened. They summoned the priest to come, and he took it to church where the host continued to bleed for 3 more days. That host-turned-flesh has been preserved intact for more than 700 years, and I had a chance to see it on my pilgrimage to Fatima in 2004.

Upon seeing Eucharistic miracles, it began to make sense to me what Jesus was saying in John, Chapter 6. Jesus said, "I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world...Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you.Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day." (Jn 6:53-56)

I don't think we truly understand what Jesus is saying to us, that when we take the Eucharist, we should not be afraid of death for Jesus is giving us the eternal life. The natural tendency for us is to worry about the practical daily needs of the day; we can't think in terms of eternity. The day that we're going to die seems so far away. Many of us feel what Jesus says to us in the Gospel seems out of touch with reality. Jesus says, "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?...All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides."  Perhaps we may ask, "Does God understand that we have rent to pay and mouths to feed? How can we not worry?"

The day I truly understood what Eucharist is, was the day I realized why Jesus was giving Himself to me in a small, white host. From our First Reading we read, "Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you." Jesus who has unconditional love greater than any earthly mother, forgave all my rebellion against Him and forgave all my not so proud sins against Him. He said to me, "Take this Paul and eat it. This is My Body which will be given up for you...Drink this Paul. This is the cup of My Blood...it will be shed for you so that your sins will be forgiven..." If God was to call me home to Heaven immediately after this Mass, would I complain about what I will eat, drink, or wear? If Jesus is the Kingdom of Heaven, then by taking that small, white host, I am totally immersed in Heavenly Love. In our brokenness, the only response to Jesus is, "Lord, I'm not worthy to receive You"...as we ponder, Don't you remember all those times I have blasphemed against You? All those times that I haven't been chaste? Do you still want to come to me?..."But only say the word, and I shall be healed."