Aug. 14, 2011: 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time (A)
On Friday, I was at a local jail to hear confessions of several inmates. I am thankful that one of our parishioners is actively involved in organizing spiritual growth opportunities for that jail and grateful that he arranged to have reconciliation available for the men and women. While waiting to be admitted into the cellblocks, a court appointed advocate was waiting to go inside to talk to a few inmates as well. He asked me, "Why are you here, Father?" "I'm hear to hear confessions," I said. He replied, "Whew, you're going to hear some confessions. These guys really need them." I replied, "Yes, but many outside of this jail need confession as much as these guys." His question reminded me of what Archbishop Fulton Sheen said to the inmates of a high-security prison when he was giving a talk. He said, “Gentlemen, there is one great difference between you and me. You have been caught; I was not. In other words, we are all sinners.”
Once inside the jail, I was aware that I was being watched from all sides by cameras because as I approached each heavy, steel bolted door along the way, the latch was automatically opened. It was a surreal experience. On one hand, a man in an orange jump-suit needed security clearance at each door to pass through, while I with this white collar passed through the doors without being questioned. This is a great metaphor of what really happens in a confession. As a priest, I’m given the privilege to enter through the “locked doors” of hurting hearts. I remember the first month after my priestly ordination, sitting in a confessional marveling at how the person opposite me was opening up his deepest pain and hurt to me, a stranger, because I was wearing a white collar.
Back at the prison, a young man in his late 20's came in, accompanied by a prison guard. We were left alone in a small, makeshift nurse's office. The medical equipment dangling from the wall gave the impression that I was a doctor, ready to examine a patient. He began, “Father, I haven’t been to confession since I made my First Communion, so I guess that was more than 20 years ago.” He put his head down, as in shame. He continued, “I really don’t know how to go to confession. All I want to tell you is that I’m really sorry for hurting my mom and dad and my friends, because I’ve done some hurtful things to them.” I felt as if his heart was fully open, humbly acknowledging his faults. A scripture came to my mind, “A humbled, contrite heart you will not spurn …” (Psalm 51)
They say that a good penitent makes a good confessor. I have preached many times at masses about my life prior to being a priest. I have revealed that in my prior life I was selfish and self-absorbed, crying out to others, “What about me!” There were times that I was impure on the Internet and impure on my own. I was swept up by my desire for worldly things and careers, and it took pure grace of God and Blessed Mother to help me see that He was calling me to let go and follow Him. I also gained some positive life experiences prior to priesthood which are being used to help others. The other day when I was helping to prepare a couple for their marriage, the bride said, “Father, how do you know all these things about relationships?” I said, “Well, before taking that fateful trip to Medjugorje ten years ago when I felt the call to priesthood, I had been dating a girl for three years and was preparing to propose to her.”
As I reflect on my experience at the prison sitting across from that young man, I could almost hear his mother plead with me, just as the woman in the Gospel pleaded with Jesus, "Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon." That young man’s eyes welled up with tears, as he thought about his mom at home, worried sick over him. Would it be a stretch to imagine that his mom is constantly praying a Rosary for his safety and for conversion of his heart? I don’t think so. Who can understand the suffering of a mother over her child? I told him, “God who has created you in your mother’s womb, wants only one thing--that you freely choose to love Him...Say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to these two questions: Are you sorry for all your sins?” “Yes, Father.” “Do you love Jesus?” “Yes, Father.” “Repeat after me, as your act of contrition: Jesus, thank you for loving me and forgiving me.” I then said to him, “for your penance: when you find a quiet time in your cell block, I want you to close your eyes and imagine that your mom is right in front of you. I want you to ask Blessed Mother to wrap your mother in her mantle. Ask Blessed Mother to look after your mother while you are here, OK?” He stared blankly at the wall in front of him with a deep sigh, shook my hand, and then left.
What about you? Who is praying for your safety and for your conversion of heart? Is it your mother on earth? Is it your Mother in Heaven? Just answer two questions for me in your heart: “Are you sorry for all your sins? Do you love Jesus?”
