Sept. 11, 2011: 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time (A)

Click to hear audio homily
The other day I was surfing on the Internet and I came across a website that promised that it would transform your child’s bad behavior. Curious, right?  On this website, in bold print is this teaser, "Say Goodbye to Disrespectful, Obnoxious and Abusive Behavior, and Regain Control of Your Child, Your Family & Your Life." How many of you would like to buy that product now? One of the techniques is, "The 10 Words to Say When He Gets Mouthy." Supposedly, this technique puts the brakes on "back talk" and cursing immediately… no matter how nasty your child gets. Have you had your share of trying to stop siblings who are fighting? When one child strikes the other, the child who is hit is angry and bitter, so he swings back. What do you do as a parent in such a situation? Spank both children? For three easy payments of $109 ($327 total!), no more pleading, negotiating, or yelling with the kids. Not even therapy for your child is necessary. Does this sound too good to be true? 

We know that kids do not behave like we think they should. Their actions do not always coincide with their intentions. They are often irrational because they can’t control themselves like adults can. I'm sure that some of us are thinking, 'some adults I know are irrational and can't control themselves, either.' So how do you handle anger problems that lead to lashing out and leave behind hurt, bitterness, and desire for revenge? I'll turn to Mother Teresa for a solution (at least I know I don't have to make three easy payments of $109 to get her advice). 

Her solution begins with turning our attention to our loving Father and understanding how the Heavenly Father sees us. She said, "He is loving Father for us all. He is always ready to forgive, to forget. He is always there. He is loving us, calling us, protecting us, in tenderness and love. We need lots of love to forgive, and we need lots of humility to forget. It is not complete forgiveness unless we forget also. As long as we cannot forget, we have not forgiven fully. This is how we hurt each other, we bring one hurt from yesterday, and we keep on repeating. This means we really have not forgotten. We need humility to forget. That's why it's very important to learn humility. That is one of the beautiful things that Jesus has asked us. Learn of me, because I am meek and humble of heart. He first puts meekness with each other, meekness with our brothers and sisters, and humility with God. Meekness and humility completes that forgiveness. Because before we forgive somebody, we must realize that we need forgiveness. That is where humility of heart comes from. And the forgiveness is the greatest presence of peace.”

We all know that it is not easy to forget a hurt inflicted on us. It is impossible for a child who has been hurt to forget what his brother just did to him. We know if our loved one said ugly and hurtful words to us, these words play in our mind and heart repeatedly. So what is Mother Teresa really saying to us? In fact, our First Reading and our Gospel echo Mother Teresa. The First Reading said, "Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight. Forgive your neighbor's injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven. Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the LORD? Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself, can he seek pardon for his own sins?" In the Gospel, Peter asked …” how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times." How do we get from the point of being hurt to forgiveness, instead of bitterness and revenge? So the question remains. What is Mother Teresa saying when she says 'forget'? 

It is a great mystery that the 10th Anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy and this Gospel on forgiveness coincide this Sunday. What message can we glean from this? The second day after the World Trade Center towers were bombed, the search and rescue workers digging through the rubble came upon a cavernous space. Once inside this space they saw an amazing sight. Against all odds, a 17-foot-long crossbeam, weighing at least two tons, had been thrust at a vertical angle in the wasteland, and it appeared like a cross. The workers began to refer to the space as 'God's House’. Shortly after its discovery, a Franciscan priest, Father Brian, persuaded city officials to allow a crew of volunteer union laborers to lift it out of the wreckage and mount it on a concrete pedestal. They placed it in a quiet part of the site on Church Street. On Oct. 3, 2001, Father Brian blessed it with the following prayer of St. Bonaventure. “May it ever compass Thee, seek Thee, find Thee, run to Thee . . . ” 

Why was that cross there in the midst of the rubble, in the midst of the mess that human anger, bitterness, and revenge created? Even in the mess that humans create, Heavenly Father makes His loving presence known. What was God inviting us to remember? What was God inviting us to forget? When we look at a cross, we remember that our sins, our bitterness, our anger and our pride nailed Jesus there. It was totally irrational what we did to Him. Yet Jesus cried out, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Lk 23:34) From the Cross on Calvary, God wanted us to know, and always remember, that He forgot what we did to Him and forgave us, completely. This invitation to forget, is not to forget that this violence ever happened. The Cross is an invitation for us to remember that we were forgiven first, even when we did not deserve it. We should be humbled by His generosity. Before we get angry enough to the point where we want to harm or take revenge on another person like that servant in the Gospel, we must remember the Cross as a sign from the loving Father that we have been forgiven. Therefore, in humility, we should forgive.

I don't think three easy payments of $109 will ever teach an angry child to forgive the offense of his brother. Instead, it’s cheaper, and far more effective, for a child to experience his mommy’s and daddy’s forgiveness no matter how many times he offends them. This child will learn by his parent’s example and will come to forgive his brother as well.