Jan. 15, 2012: 2nd Sunday in Ordinary Time (B)

Doubt. It is a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction. It involves uncertainty or distrust of an alleged fact or motive. Doubt brings into question  a perceived "reality", and may involve delaying or rejecting relevant action out of concerns.  Many people tell me, whether in conversations or in confessions, persistent doubt they have about God.
  
    Many of us will remember a show called “Little House on the Prairie.”’ In one episode, Mr. Edwards arrives in the town of Walnut Grove, Minnesota. He meets a beautiful lady named Gracie Snider and falls in love with her. At dinner one night, Mr. Edwards asks her if she would like to go fishing on Sunday. She said she would after church. She learned then that Mr. Edwards does not go to church or believe in God.  And he was not about to change for her. Later in the evening, he decides to leave Walnut Grove. Caroline Ingalls asks him why, and Mr. Edwards replies, “Mam, God doesn’t care about me, and I don’t care about him...Can you tell me why God let my wife and daughter die?”  (His wife and daughter died of Smallpox.) Mrs. Ingalls replied, “Do you know what you are doing? You are punishing God.  And if you go on punishing Him for what happened in the past,  you aren’t going to have any room for the  future...I’d be so sorry if you did that.” The next scene shows the town folks singing a hymn in the church and Mr. Edwards hanging his hat and sitting next to Gracie Snider.
   Many people, up until the birth of Jesus, I (and even now) had one way or the other to explain away suffering and tragedies. Cruel fate and bad luck were blamed. Even the Israelites believed that misfortunes were due to their own sins.

   I used to be the one who believed in fates and bad lucks. Like Mr. Edwards, I believed that since God didn’t care about me, he must not exist. Plenty people tried to make me read the Bible and prove God’s existence. I remember the first time I really tried to read the Bible. I couldn’t make any sense of it—Old or New Testament.  And I said to myself, “Why go to church, when I can have more peaceful time walking on the lakeside jogging trail here in Austin?” Doubt was the central belief I held on to. What made God concrete for me were the people who cared about me who did not know me. The kindness, gentleness, compassion, and patience of the Christians who reached out to this near-Atheist (me) was the reason why I was able to begin to ask, ‘If these Christians are so kind and patient with a stranger like me, I wonder how kind and patient is the God they believe in...I wonder if these Christians know something about this Jesus who said love one another as I have loved you.” 
   In the Gospel today, disciples of John the Baptist were curious about the man John pointed and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God.” His disciples then approached Jesus and asked where he was staying. Jesus replied, “Come and you will see.” They followed him and saw how he loved—how he was kind, compassionate, and gentle with multitude who gathered around him.
   I was touched and converted by Jesus, the Word made flesh; I was touched and converted by Jesus’ love made into flesh by the love that Christians showed me. That’s the call for all of us, to make flesh Jesus’ love for others through our kindness, gentleness, and patience.