Whether I walk into St. Francis, Ascension Church, St. Joseph in Pierre Part, or St. Jules Church in Belle Rose, I feel a unique, awe-inspiring presence. However, before my conversion back to the Catholic Church over 17 years ago, I did not sense any presence when I entered Catholic churches. I remember touring through Notre Dame Cathedral and Sacra Coeur Basilica in Paris, St. Peters Basilica in Rome, and Basilica of St. Francis in Assisi 15 years ago with a tour group. Each time we went into a beautiful Catholic church, I would say to myself, “I wish we wouldn’t go into another Catholic church.”
(Pictured left: Ascension of Our Lord Church, Donaldsonville)
What change happened to me that I used to be indifferent to going to church and now I literally feel the Presence of the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament? Last week, we began our five-week continuous reading of the Bread of Life discourse in the Gospel of John, with the account of the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes. In that passage, St. John describes how Jesus fed a crowd of 5000 hungry men, women, and children, with just five loaves of bread and two fish. But then, John says, Jesus withdrew from the crowds. He got into a boat and went to the other side of the lake. Why did the crowds pursue Jesus? What was it they were looking for? What was so compelling, so utterly different and unique about this man, Jesus? What made crowds of thousands go looking for Him, until they found Him on the opposite shore?
As a matter of fact, the Jews had been looking for Jesus for a very long time. Our first reading today from the Book of Exodus describes how the Israelite community while wandering in the desert went out each day in search of food. When they found what appeared to be fine flakes on the ground, Moses assured them, This is the bread that the Lord has given you to eat (Ex 16:15). They were not satisfied then, and centuries later the Jewish people were still searching for something that filled their emptiness. Their hunger led them to the person of Jesus and when they found him on the opposite shore, little did they realize that they had found the One about whom Moses prophesied. This is what Jesus meant when He said to them, speaking of Himself, It was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, for the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world (Jn 6: 32-33). The Jews wondered at this, and so they said to Him, Sir, give us this bread always. And Jesus replied, I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst (Jn 6: 34-35).
It is my own personal experience and from what I see in people young and old, that although fed with this Bread of Life in the Eucharist, we still leave the Catholic Church. Why is that? Looking back on why I left the Church, I remember how young and brash I was, thinking that I was self-sufficient and didn’t need God. What did I need him for? Then I became aware of a gnawing emptiness inside. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, until I recognized that it was a hunger--a hunger for someone greater than myself.
First I was fed with the Word of God when I joined various Protestant denominations. I pored over and devoured Sacred Scriptures as I attended Assembly of God, Methodist, Episcopalian and non-denominational churches. Yet I was hungry for something more. Only when my mom kept insisting that I go back to the Catholic Church did I finally relent and go back. I had plenty of gripes on my first few experiences, though. I didn’t know when to stand, sit, and kneel and I didn’t like the music. It wasn’t as exciting as at some of the church services that sounded like rock concerts. I didn’t like the sermons either; sometimes there were foreign priests whom I had difficulty understanding; sometimes, the sermons did not resonate with anything going on in my life. Yet, I kept going back; someone was drawing me back each week. One evening I went into a small chapel adjoining the church and noticed two or three people sitting in chairs quietly. In front was something I had never seen and didn’t know what it was. I sat there wondering why it felt so peaceful just sitting there. Later I realized that I had been in a Perpetual Adoration Chapel.
Looking back on reasons why it took so long for me to come back to the Catholic Church, I realized that I had many things that kept me from communion with Jesus--serious sins which I needed repentance and forgiveness, and belief in the True Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist--Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus. I eventually returned to the sacrament of reconciliation and truly felt reunited with the Father. After time in prayer, adoration, studying scriptures and attending mass, I came to believe in the True Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.
When did you realize that Jesus was truly present in the Eucharist? Did you take a long faith journey as I did? If you do not feel Jesus’ presence in the Eucharist now, what do you think you need to do to get there?
Whether I walk into St. Francis, Ascension Church, St. Joseph in Pierre Part, or St. Jules Church in Belle Rose, I feel a unique, awe-inspiring presence. However, before my conversion back to the Catholic Church over 17 years ago, I did not sense any presence when I entered Catholic churches. I remember touring through Notre Dame Cathedral and Sacra Coeur Basilica in Paris, St. Peters Basilica in Rome, and Basilica of St. Francis in Assisi 15 years ago with a tour group. Each time we went into a beautiful Catholic church, I would say to myself, “I wish we wouldn’t go into another Catholic church.”
