Feb. 10, 2013: 5th Sunday in Ordinary (C)

This week the project to paint the interior of the Ascension Church began. Just to give you an idea of the challenge of painting the interior, the top most tip of the interior arch is 60 feet high. No ordinary ladder or even a lift will be able to reach that. On the first day of the project, when a lift was delivered, our maintenance committee members took advantage of that lift to empty out the choir loft that is located 30 feet above ground level and reachable only by a narrow tight spiral staircase. A contractor and I got into the lift and went up the 30 feet to the choir loft to meet our volunteers. Once the lift was loaded, we swayed, and my courage began to fail. On the third trip up after we loaded, the contractor pressed the descend button, and it would not move. Many fearful thoughts went through my mind. After 5 minutes of being suspended in the air, he realized that the battery was drained and had his colleague plug the extension cord to the lift. I didn’t know rebuilding a church could be such a harrowing experience! I wondered, how back in 1896, they completed this massive church using simpler tools and equipment. I appreciated how this church was God’s work; despite the fears and limited abilities of each one of us, He was able to show His greatness by building something so magnificent by using our very own fears and limited abilities.

That is how God continues to builds His Church. Today’s Gospel shows how God picks the foundation stones for His Church. Jesus is standing by a lake as he speaks to the crowd gathered there, and nearby are a few fishermen who had finished a long day at work.  The Gospel ends with those fishermen leaving everything behind and following Jesus. Those fishermen weren’t exactly the cream of the crop, but they were hard workers.  More importantly, they listened.  Despite laboring through the night with nothing to show for it, an exhausted Simon shows no hesitation when Jesus asks that he let down the nets one more time.  The result was nothing short of amazing, a miraculous catch of fishes.





When Simon Peter saw the abundance of fish, he realized that something bigger than he was at work here. He knew that his abilities and his luck had nothing to do with the catch. In fact, Simon Peter faced the limit of his ability as he grasped the fishnet that was about to tear from the unexpected catch of fish, the weight of which could capsize his boat. At that moment, Peter faced one of his greatest fears, that on his own he can do nothing. In that mix of trembling fear and the display of a miracle beyond his comprehension, he saw how things that he thought were important, all of a sudden seemed so trivial. He was overtaken by a sense of unworthiness: everything in his life that was petty, false, angry, silly, greedy, proud, vile become a heavy, nauseating heap. We can now understand why the first words that came out of Peter’s mouth after witnessing the immense catch of fish was, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” Although his mouth was uttering, “Depart from me, Lord,” his heart was crying in desolation, “No! Stay with me, Lord! Take me with you!” Jesus knew Peter’s deepest fears. He knew Peter’s weakness, pettiness, and past failures, just as he knows ours. Yet instead of saying, “No, I can’t use such unqualified and unrefined talent,” Jesus said, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.”

We are invited during this Lent to take a good look at our fears, especially fears coming from our own weaknesses and failures. We need to recognize them, but not stop there. We need to go one step further. Jesus desires to not only allay our fears but to use them, for he desires to set us on a path of trust: letting ourselves be carried by God. Our fears should not stop us from Jesus’ instruction for us to carry His message to others. Our Lord cried out from the Cross, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” We need to recognize whose we are--to recognize the Heavenly Father who supports us even when we are stranded 30 feet in the air on a lift. He will amaze us by accomplishing great things through us, despite our fears and failures.