Oct. 27, 2013: 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time C

The other day, I was watching a TV commercial for an online match-making service. A woman was on a speed-dating event at a coffee shop where every 5 minutes or so another person would sit in front of her. She appeared tired and bored listening to a monologue of guys trying to impress her in 5 minutes. What do you think are the top blunders that people should avoid on their first date? Bragging and arrogance. Dating experts say that bragging and arrogance indicate a person’s desire to compensate for those qualities that one feels are lacking. Compensating in this way indicates the person’s greatest insecurity. For instance, a person’s bragging of designer clothing might ironically indicate his insecurity about his financial situation, and therefore a corresponding desire to make a statement about his success without actual achievement of that success. Another example; a person who describes himself as intelligent and educated does so because he finds it difficult to convey his intelligence in a much more effective way – through his actions.

Now you might be asking how a 5-minute speed-dating event has anything to do with today’s Gospel. Well, take a guess as to what is the average length of time people spend in a day talking to God in prayer. Five minutes. If you think about it, God is like a date who is sitting and waiting to be genuinely heard and spoken to, while we are the ones moving from one table to another every five minutes. What do average folks do in those 5 minutes of talking to God? I certainly hope not bragging and showing arrogance. But that’s what the Pharisee did in today’s Gospel. We should expect from a prayer expert - like the Pharisee - something profound. Instead he prayed the following: “O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity --greedy, dishonest, adulterous -- or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.” How did he sound in his prayer? He came off as arrogant and bragging, as if he should get a gold-star sticker for his deeds. Can you imagine, God has been anxiously waiting during the day to hear from us, and He gets a 5-minute speed-dating event where all he hears is our bragging and arrogance?

Do we sound like that sometimes when we talk to God? Jesus shows us another way to pray--a way that is more pleasing, honest, and humble--like the tax collector who prayed, “O God, be merciful to me a sinner.” Why is this more pleasing to God? When we are not honest with God, there is a danger of abandoning our relationship with God altogether. How many of us said this to ourselves? “I am full of faults, I’m not making any progress, I’m incapable of being really converted and loving God seriously. Presenting myself before God in such a state is just hypocrisy—I’m pretending to be a saint, when I am worth no more than people who don’t pray at all. It would be much more honest in God’s eyes if I just dropped it completely!”

Cultivating a relationship with God is no different than cultivating a relationship with our loved ones. What do good friends do for each other? They are patient, gentle, and kind with each other's faults. They keep no record of wrongs. They always protect, trust, hope, and persevere. They look forward to spending time with each other. What friends enjoy is quality time with each other, even if it means 5 minutes.

Do you remember the dying man that I spoke about last weekend? I saw him again, and he is now much closer to departing his wife, children, and friends. He is less conscious and sleeps most of the time. Each time he awakes from his sleep, he is conscious for less than five minutes. Outside his bedroom, his grieving wife showed me a note that her husband had given her when he proposed to  marry her more than 56 years ago. The note was given to her on a Christmas day.  He wrote,

“My dear love, I pledge my most sincere and loving affections to you throughout our engagement period and throughout our life. I earnestly promise to be faithful, understanding, trusting, and kind to you whom I love so fervently.

I shall come to you for help and comfort which only you can give to me. I also beg of you to ask for my aid when ever possible; to be outspoken and frank in all situations. I want very much to be needed by you. As long as it is within my power to make you happy, I also shall be happy.

I shall expect from you only what you are willing to give and nothing more.  My love for you shall not die! Forever! ”

Although this wife now only gets less than five minutes of time with her dying best friend, who is her husband, she knows how much he loves her. He is frail, weak, and unable to tell her how much he loves her, but she knows.

Isn’t that how God wants us to approach Him? He knows how frail and weak we are, but when we look deep into our hearts, can we not find the desire in us to express to Him in less than five minutes, how much we love Him? Are our prayers honest, sincere, and humble?