Oct. 7, 2018: 27th Sunday B
Oct. 7, 2018: 27th Sunday B
Have you ever entered into a commitment that was easy? The other day, as I drove by a local gym, I jotted down the phone number and then called it later left a message. My intention was to join the gym for six months. After a day or two, a thought occurred to me: ‘Isn’t this the fourth time that I’m joining a gym? Didn’t I only go a less than a dozen times at each gym and waste all those fees?’ Not willing to make the commitment, I called and cancelled my appointment to sign the contract. By definition, commitment is not easy. Commitment means pledging oneself by vow, promise, or a resolution to faithfully perform some action or dedication to a cause or co-operation with a person or a group. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Far from limiting, making a commitment actually brings great freedom and depth. No longer are other possibilities a distraction. Once committed, all one’s energy goes into making this commitment work. Our readings for today focus on marriage, and those of us who are single may not feel a connection to the readings. However, we are here today because of the commitment our parents made. We may be a brother-in-law or sister-in-law because our siblings are married. And we interact on a daily basis with co-workers who are married. So we know that good marriages resulting from commitments lived out faithfully are what brings happy and stable environment for our families and communities.
Marriage, on one level, is a commitment, but it’s much more. It’s a permanent, solemn, and holy covenant between a husband and a wife--a calling or vocation from God to mutually serve each other for the rest of their lives. Is marriage easy? No! Marriage is not easy because it takes effort, ongoing tuneups and re-commitment. It’s like a training program; the goal of the program is to learn to love in the same manner that Jesus loves. And the training regimen involves being tested on our patience, kindness, selflessness, and our ability to give without counting the cost. Was marriage easier in the past compared to now? No. Even in the time of Moses and Jesus, couples separated and divorced. The Pharisees even challenged Jesus about Moses’ concessions for divorce. Our Lord pointed out that throughout history the hardness of hearts has been the greatest obstacle for a spouse to truly embrace the commitment of being married.
Now, as was then, marriage is challenging because anytime we love someone we run the risk of exposing ourselves to hurt. Even our spouse whom we have chosen and promised to love and spend the rest of our lives together has the power to hurt us. From the outsider’s point of view, marriages of friends and neighbors seem so perfect. Yet just because a couple is going to church together, to family events, or on vacations does not mean that a marriage is happy or healthy. Beneath the surface or behind closed doors, a couple may not care about each other’s needs, neglect God as part of their marriage, stop communicating, suffer from problems such as substance abuse, gambling, pornography, depression, infidelity, or workaholism. God loves good marriages, but when truth, honesty, and decency are gone from the relationship and when spouses choose to harm each other, the couple’s life together becomes a poor imitation of true marriage.
Despite their best efforts and intentions, some couples suffer the heartaches of separation and divorce. Perhaps a spouse is not interested in having a real marriage, not putting forth any efforts to save the marriage. Perhaps after repeated infidelities or abuses, trust is gone. And barring a miracle from God, there is nothing more that a spouse can do; one may have waited a long time for a miracle, but the other spouse doesn’t seem to want it. Persons who stay in bad marriages are really good people, spiritual people who care about God and others. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity asking God for direction, some spouses make an agonizing decision to separate. The decision to separate and divorce may seem like the most unloving thing they could possibly do. In actuality, it may be the most loving thing, both for them and for their spouse. One cannot grow in an angry, false, codependent, indifferent relationship.
Whether we are a couple enjoying the fruits of daily commitment, a couple toiling through challenges, or a couple who is separated or divorced, God is close to you. As Isaiah beautifully wrote, “Thus says the Lord who made you, who formed you in the womb and will help you: Do not fear…” (Isaiah 44:2) Through our baptism, we have been assured of Father’s faithfulness, mercy, and love for us. Relying only on our human resolve to remain faithful to our commitments will not be easy. Yet when we ask the Holy Spirit to assist us with His courage and strength, we will not grow weary as we fulfill our commitments as disciples of Christ.
Have you ever entered into a commitment that was easy? The other day, as I drove by a local gym, I jotted down the phone number and then called it later left a message. My intention was to join the gym for six months. After a day or two, a thought occurred to me: ‘Isn’t this the fourth time that I’m joining a gym? Didn’t I only go a less than a dozen times at each gym and waste all those fees?’ Not willing to make the commitment, I called and cancelled my appointment to sign the contract. By definition, commitment is not easy. Commitment means pledging oneself by vow, promise, or a resolution to faithfully perform some action or dedication to a cause or co-operation with a person or a group. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Far from limiting, making a commitment actually brings great freedom and depth. No longer are other possibilities a distraction. Once committed, all one’s energy goes into making this commitment work. Our readings for today focus on marriage, and those of us who are single may not feel a connection to the readings. However, we are here today because of the commitment our parents made. We may be a brother-in-law or sister-in-law because our siblings are married. And we interact on a daily basis with co-workers who are married. So we know that good marriages resulting from commitments lived out faithfully are what brings happy and stable environment for our families and communities.
Now, as was then, marriage is challenging because anytime we love someone we run the risk of exposing ourselves to hurt. Even our spouse whom we have chosen and promised to love and spend the rest of our lives together has the power to hurt us. From the outsider’s point of view, marriages of friends and neighbors seem so perfect. Yet just because a couple is going to church together, to family events, or on vacations does not mean that a marriage is happy or healthy. Beneath the surface or behind closed doors, a couple may not care about each other’s needs, neglect God as part of their marriage, stop communicating, suffer from problems such as substance abuse, gambling, pornography, depression, infidelity, or workaholism. God loves good marriages, but when truth, honesty, and decency are gone from the relationship and when spouses choose to harm each other, the couple’s life together becomes a poor imitation of true marriage.
Despite their best efforts and intentions, some couples suffer the heartaches of separation and divorce. Perhaps a spouse is not interested in having a real marriage, not putting forth any efforts to save the marriage. Perhaps after repeated infidelities or abuses, trust is gone. And barring a miracle from God, there is nothing more that a spouse can do; one may have waited a long time for a miracle, but the other spouse doesn’t seem to want it. Persons who stay in bad marriages are really good people, spiritual people who care about God and others. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity asking God for direction, some spouses make an agonizing decision to separate. The decision to separate and divorce may seem like the most unloving thing they could possibly do. In actuality, it may be the most loving thing, both for them and for their spouse. One cannot grow in an angry, false, codependent, indifferent relationship.
Whether we are a couple enjoying the fruits of daily commitment, a couple toiling through challenges, or a couple who is separated or divorced, God is close to you. As Isaiah beautifully wrote, “Thus says the Lord who made you, who formed you in the womb and will help you: Do not fear…” (Isaiah 44:2) Through our baptism, we have been assured of Father’s faithfulness, mercy, and love for us. Relying only on our human resolve to remain faithful to our commitments will not be easy. Yet when we ask the Holy Spirit to assist us with His courage and strength, we will not grow weary as we fulfill our commitments as disciples of Christ.
