Oct. 24, 2021: 30th Sunday B

 Oct. 24, 2021: 30th Sunday B

It was a normal day on the neighborhood soccer field. A 12 year old Andrea was playing soccer with his friends when the ball hit his right eye hard. When the nurse removed the bandage from his eyes, Andrea realized that his sight in both eyes was gone. He said, “From that moment on, I tried to get used to the idea, as one learns to live with sadness or pain.” Although he was baptized Catholic, Andrea spent most of his youth as an agnostic perhaps because he didn’t know how to channel his anger and sadness of losing his sight except to blame God. Blaming God fed his anger at God, and he became further and further distant from God. Already physically blind, his anger was causing spiritual blindness of his soul, that is paralysis of his faith. 

Blind Bartimaeus in the Gospel speaks for all of us. He gives voice to our soul which is temporarily blinded by a sense of unhappiness and restlessness. For years, Bartimaeus eked out a living crying out to passers by for alms.  We can imagine as he sat on the street begging, he was wrapped in his tattered cloak of anger, pain, loneliness, frustration, and hopelessness. From the depths of his heart he cried out to Jesus, “Son of David, have pity on me… have mercy on me.” Even in his blindness, Bartimaeus felt that something was special about Jesus. The crowd on the other hand looked at Bartimaeus as a throwaway human being who is not worthy to bother the rabbi from Nazareth. Bartimaeus persisted, asked for compassion, and expected transformation. Jesus saw Bartimaeus with tender mercy and asked, “What do you want me to do for you?” Bartimaeus readily asked from Jesus the ability to see with a deeper, broader, clearer vision, to see things as Jesus sees them. 

Bartimaeus received from Jesus more than physical healing.  Jesus said to him, “Your faith has saved you.” Bartimaeus began as a pitiable handicap beggar who desired a better life for himself. The vision he received was faith and hope; no longer making a living for the world was satisfactory. His destiny was to be a disciple of Jesus and follow Jesus to Jerusalem where both suffering and glory awaits. 

What would our answer be if Jesus were to ask us, “What do you want me to do for you?” We too come this Sunday in need of having our vision restored. In recent times with all that is happening in our world and locally, many people have been struggling with anger, restlessness, and uncertainty. While they try to reign in chaos in their lives, the signs are there that something is not right; people are justifying sarcasm, blame-game, gossiping about “that person” or “those people” for all the problems.  Unfortunately, these actions-- whether done in person or online--harm and rupture our relationships. 

What can we do to stop anger and resentment from overwhelming our conscious thoughts? First is to ask Jesus to give us the grace to see reality properly and to see it from God’s perspective. We should ask for the grace like Bartimaeus to jump up and throw off our old cloak, that is to throw off our old way of life and our narrow attitudes in order to receive a divine vision. Second is to express our anger and restlessness in a journal. By writing, it helps us become aware of the deeper reasons why we are bothered by the present struggles. It may lead us to discover whether we are guarding deep reservoirs of unshed tears, grief, or fear. We can invite Jesus to walk with us to review these broken fragments through his eyes so that we may become a whole person and gain Christ’s perspective of mercy and justice. 

Andrea never regained his sight from the childhood soccer ball accident. He is 63 years old now. He said to an interviewer, “When I was young, being an agnostic seemed like a comfortable position for me to embrace.” Andrea--that is Andrea Bocelli the world famous tenor--said that before discovering his Catholic faith, he did what many successful people do in the entertainment industry. Feeling emptiness of life, he lived a decadent life and indulged in excesses; he only found himself deeper in a “whirlpool of vices.” In the midst of the blindness of his soul, he experienced a conversion in which he realized that he was guided by God. He said, “I do not hold any personal merit for having a voice with a pleasant and recognizable timbre. . . Heavenly gifts are meant to bring beauty and joy to the world. That is, unless we decide to make an improper or incorrect use of such gifts, out of our own free will.“ Regarding faith he said, “I believe prayer is a fundamental aspect of a path of faith, representing a source of constant renewal in the life of those who practice it. Reciting the holy rosary is one of the most intense moments of the day [for me].... Faith is not something we can take for granted: Like any other discipline, it requires commitment, perseverance, sacrifice.” 

Like Andrea, we too can discover that Jesus is here beside us even when inner turmoil blinds us to his presence. With faith and prayer, we open our hearts to Jesus who extends his arms toward us to embrace us. There in that mystical embrace, we come to know that he is the Lord of our lives, and that when we unite our sufferings to his, we can accept the present difficulties with grace. As you continue to pray through this Mass and receive Our Lord in the Eucharist, pray for the grace for the divine vision to rediscover that we belong to Christ and are called to follow his way and not our own. 

-Fr. Paul Yi