Oct. 23, 2022: 30th Sunday C
Oct. 23, 2022: 30th Sunday C
One day a father of a four-year-old son was banging on the windows of a hospital waiting room as his son was going into surgery for a ruptured appendix; the boy’s condition was critical. The father was angry with God, and he prayed, “You’ve made me suffer. And I took that. You’ve made my family suffer. And I took that. You’re gonna take my boy? Is this how you treat your faithful? Don’t you take my son. Don’t you take my son!” Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the medical staff and his family, the boy had a near death experience during surgery in which he journeyed through Heaven. At one point in this journey, Jesus came to the little boy and told him that he had to go back. While the boy protested that he wanted to stay, Jesus told him that his dad was praying that he would not die. Later on, the boy told his father that Jesus heard his prayer. The father was shocked and embarrassed, “What? Jesus heard my irreverent and angry prayer?”
In last Sunday’s gospel Jesus spoke about persistent prayer; this week, Jesus speaks about both a presumptuous attitude and a humble attitude in prayer. An example of an incorrect attitude to prayer is personified by the Pharisee who was self-absorbed with his own sense of self-satisfaction and arrogance. He was praying to himself rather than to God; he congratulated himself for being good while despising those whom he thought were less worthy. His prayer was filled with a litany of “I… I… I… I…”
St. John of the Cross categorized such an attitude as features of a beginner in spiritual life. He noted that spiritual beginners are proud of their own progress and achievements. They publicize their own growth, are intolerant of others’ lack of devotion, and when criticized they quickly search for some other spiritual advisor more to their liking, someone who will congratulate them and be impressed by their deeds. They become attached to their devotion, thereby turning it into a vice.
In contrast, the correct attitude to prayer is exemplified by the tax collector who stood in the back of the temple and beat his breast in repentance. Who among us has not felt weak, incapable, or simply not good enough at some point in our life? Who among has not experienced feelings of shame when we have failed miserably? The tax collector exemplified a humble heart that rested confidently in God’s mercy and love with no fear of being little or unnoticed, nor in any need for adulation.
In my early high school days when I felt that I was being “forced” to come to Mass by my parents, I was a smug and arrogant “atheist” in those days, considering myself far above the poor, deceived Christians who are praying to God who did not exist. While most of us here may not have such an attitude today, we may have struggled a time or two with a thought that prayer is pointless and a waste of time, perhaps saying to ourselves, ”Come on let’s get over with this boring hour, for I have something more important to attend to.”
I was a junior in high school when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. As a teenager, I was filled with uncertainty and sadness with the prospect of not having mom in my life. Our Korean Catholic community in Dallas knew about our family’s plight, and they prayed for us. On a Sunday Mass at the Korean Catholic Church, my sister and I were asked to bring up the gifts of bread and wine during Offertory. I remember how alone I felt on that walk from the back of the church to the sanctuary. While people watched us walk slowly up the aisle, my mind was blank; only sadness filled my heart, and I could not articulate the emptiness I felt. I was reminded of this childhood experience a few days ago when I sat next to parents of an adult daughter who was dying of cancer and leaving behind a loving husband and children. We exchanged no words as we sat there; only the whimper and tears filled the silence. Sometimes prayer needs no words, just deep, silent groaning from the heart.
St. Paul wrote that at times we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groaning that cannot be expressed in words. And our Heavenly Father who knows all hearts know what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us in harmony with God’s own will.
The Lord stands by us to give us strength. He hears the whimpers and groaning of our hearts. When we pray, we need no pretensions, for he knows how weak we are. God knows that we are like grass and wildflower, for we bloom and die; we are only dust. This is humility—that we know who we are before God. However, the Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate; and his love remains forever. The Father invites us today to approach him with humility and with a contrite heart that seeks mercy and forgiveness. We stand in constant need of God’s grace and help.
