Oct. 18, 2009: 29th Sunday Ordinary (B)

For the most of this week, the priests of our diocese was in retreat in Manresa House of Retreat in Convent, Louisiana. It's one time of the year when all of us priests are able to see each other and catch up. We find out what everyone has been up to--the good news. But it is also the time to find out some bad news as well, especially regarding health. One of our priest, Fr. Than Vu, was diagnosed with cancer recently, and another priest, Fr. Fred Youngs, was having a surgery done during our retreat. During one of our masses together, Bishop Muench held a communal anointing of the sick for all of the priests who either suffer from illness at this present moment or are recovering. There were around 15 priests who came forward. If you ever have received the anointing of the sick, there is a part where the priest lays his hand in silence on the person's head and prays for the Holy Spirit to descend on the sick person to renew their body and their soul. The bishop invited rest of the priests, one by one, to lay our hands on our brother priest who was sick. Here I was laying hand on priests who spend more than half of their lives in priesthood to ask God for their healing. It was a very moving moment for all of us, and there were no dry eyes in that chapel.

Somethings in life, we sign up knowing ahead of time what we'll expect. But somethings, like priesthood, religious life, and marriage, you'll never know what to expect. For the married couples here, did you expect ahead of time all the things you have faced over the years? Doesn't it feel like being blindfolded and being led by the hand of God? Earlier that day, before the communal anointing, our retreat director asked us to meditate on Jesus entering the Garden of Gethsemane. In the Garden, Jesus falls to the ground and pours out his heart to his Father, "Abba, Father, all things are possible to you. Take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what you will." (Mark 14:35-36) Jesus does something here what is difficult for most of us--to set aside what we want and to face the uncertain future with trust and confidence what the Father has in store for us. Our retreat director simply asked us to stay in meditation of that Garden long enough to be able to see why Jesus was able accept what Father was giving him. For the priests who were just diagnosed with cancer or were having surgery done, suffering is something that they did not anticipate and did not want. Yet, Heavenly Father was requesting them to drink this chalice.

In our gospel, James and John asked Jesus something that all of us ask of God--what we want and when we want it. They asked, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you." Jesus replied, "What do you wish me to do for you?" They answered him, "Grant that in your glory we may sit one at your right and the other at your left." In reply Jesus asked this crucial question, "Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?" James and John unanimously said, "We can." Did they know what they were saying 'yes' to? I don't think so. Did we know what we were saying 'yes' to? As I prayed with this scripture, it dawned on me that when I got baptized and when I received my First Communion, I was saying to Jesus, 'Yes, I want to drink the cup that you drank and want to be baptized with the same baptism that you went through.' I was saying 'Yes, Lord, I want to be a suffering servant just like you.' Do you know what God does to a willing servant who says 'yes' to Him? Our First Reading tells us, "The Lord was pleased to crush him in infirmity." Yikes! So are we just to bear our suffering, clinching our teeth? Our Manresa retreat director told us, 'What's unseen in that Garden scene is how Jesus was filled with courage and resolve because he was so loved by his Father. 'Perfect love casts out fear.' (1 John 4:18)

At Manresa after one of the evening prayers, I sat down to spend a little more time in silence in prayer. I had my eyes closed, but I began to hear some clicking and clacking noise. I opened my eyes and saw Fr. Pat Mascarella trying to go near the tabernacle in the sanctuary. His sight was failing him gradually in the past two decades, and now he can only distinguish light and darkness; so his 'eyes' are his walking stick. He knew that the chapel was remodeled this year, and he wanted to 'see' how the remodeling came about. He used his hands to feel the new altar and the ambo. He approached the tabernacle with his walking stick and slowly began to feel the relief that was etched on to the tabernacle door. It was a relief of Jesus being baptized by St. John the Baptist.

After he traced the figures on the door, he placed his palm on the door of the tabernacle and stayed there in prayer. I don't know if he was aware, but the crucifix with the life-like Jesus above him, was looking down upon him with gentle love. I was thinking to myself, 'Here is a priest who dedicated more than 40 years of his life in priesthood.' Perhaps when he lost his sight he was angry and even bitter. Yet, here as he rests his palm on the image of Jesus being baptized and hearing from heaven, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I'm well pleased," I know Fr. Pat in someway was receiving that affirmation from God the Father as well--a beloved son of the Father. I know in that very few minutes, Fr. Pat was filled with courage and resolve to say, "not what I will but what you will."