Sanctity Joy Action: A talk given to the parents of St. Joseph Academy parents

 Click to hear the audio of the talk

The following talk was given to the parents of St. Joseph Academy (where I am the chaplain) on the topic of Sanctity, Joy, and Action--the motto of their school.

Prayer to St. Joseph and Blessed Mother
Lord, Jesus, in the person of St. Joseph you have shown us how to be holy, joyful, and prompt in doing what you ask of us. St. Joseph, we ask you to teach us today about the holiness in life and the holiness in marriage. Teach us to be simple, not encumbered by our possessions, but to truly love what is important, willing to sacrifice ourselves for all that is holy.
With your spouse, Blessed Virgin Mary, we also ask you to intercede for all members of the Academy community-- alumnae, parents, friends, present students and faculty.
Keep us in your tender care; strengthen our faith; heal our sorrows; and guide us, finally, to the fullness of joy and peace. We pray all this through Christ, Our Lord.

SJA Alma Mater
Lift up your voices to our Alma Mater.
Pledge her your loyalty as long as she may live.
Always remember the spirit and the way
Of Sanctity, Joy and Action,
Dearest SJA

Several weeks ago, I was contacted by a local hospice to come and give the Sacrament of Anointing for a man. He was just admitted to the hospice. He was relatively young, in his late 50's. He was dying of lung cancer, but he was also an alcoholic with some drug abuse in the past. Then the hospital worker said, "Father, I want to warn you ahead of time. When he got here, he began to curse at us and mistreat the workers here. He resented being here, so to protest, he began to urinate and defecate. So we put in a catheter and put a diaper on him. I just wanted to warn you about that." Then I thought, 'Oh this is great.' My desire to go and visit him just vanished. I told the hospice worker, "Can I come tomorrow?" He said, "Sure."

The next day, I got into the car and said a prayer, "Okay my holy guardian angel and saints, restrain that dude if he begins to harm me. Blessed Mother please soften his heart so that I can talk to him." I entered his room, and he was watching TV. By the look on his face, he was probably thinking, "A priest. Well this is amusing." The room was hot, for he put on the heater when the rest of the building was on A/C. I saw that he had his diaper on, and it was not exactly a flattering view. I thought to myself, 'Which side of the bed will be safe, the left or right?' I chose the chair next to the window, less than an arm's length away from him. His hair was disheveled like a homeless man. I said, "Hi, my name is Fr. Paul from Our Lady of Mercy." I shook his hand and sat down. He opened his mouth to say something, and I noticed that he had all but three upper teeth and bottom row of teeth. I thought to myself, 'Where did he lose the rest of his teeth, from fighting?'

To break the ice I said, looking out the window, "How beautiful the weather today." He briefly took his eye off of me and looked out the window. He said, "Yes. It is beautiful." We had a quiet moment of silence for a minute. Then I said, "I came by to give you the Sacrament of Annointing today. Would you like that?" He said, "Okay." I began some more small talks and asked about the picture on the window sill. It was a picture of his sibling. Then I asked about where he grew up and what his childhood was like. It sounded like he was raised in a good Catholic family. Then he began to tell me his education background. He had a bachelors degree, a masters degree, and a PhD. In fact he taught at college level. Something inside me was not 'jibing.' I'm seeing a man before me who looks like a homeless man who is dying of dissipated life of addiction, malnutrition, and cancer, yet he is telling me that he was a university professor? Is he lying to me or is he telling me the truth? Before he told me his life story, I presumed in my mind a man who was angry, bitter, and resentful about life because he was dealt an unlucky deck of cards from the beginning. But unfolding before me was a man who is angry, bitter, and resentful whose background suggests a blessed life from the beginning. How did he get here, to a life without joy? We read in the Letter of St. James, "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." (James 1:2-3) Did he just give up in the face of trials of his life, taking up a life of dissipation and drinking?

I presumed that he had no one to visit him because he lived most of his life on the streets. Yet he began to tell me that he had a wife and several children. However, I didn't see their photos on the window sill. He told me that he was divorced and was estranged from his children. Then he would not tell me any more about his life. So his life from his early 40s to now remained shrouded in darkness. I had lots of questions. "How did he get here if he was blessed with intellectual gifts and raised in a good family?" But I didn't pursue asking him more questions. He wasn't so cooperative from that point on.

Then I said, "I have been a priest now for two years, and I have given many Last Rites to dying people. Based on those experiences and based on what I read about from folks who went through Near-Death experiences, I would like to give you a tour, a tour of what happens at the end of your life. Consider me a tour guide, then, to your after-life." His eyes widened with interest. I continued:

When you are about to die, you will encounter in this room the souls of your parents or loved ones who have passed from this life. They'll come so that you will not be afraid of the journey you are about to take. Sometimes, if you had a strong devotion to the Blessed Mother, she'll come and welcome you (which happened in couple of Last Rites I did in the past--and if you want to know how I knew she was there, let's just say that I knew). You'll then enter a dark tunnel (as all of the folks who experienced near-death attest) with the faint light at the end of the tunnel. As you travel through this tunnel, the light becomes brighter, and as you come out of the tunnel, you'll see a garden (as some describes) but ultimately meet the source of light, Jesus himself. (My patient's eyes really widened at that point). Jesus will embrace you, and you'll experience the most profound, unconditional love that you've ever experienced. This is the love that you've been searching for on earth all your life, sometimes you found it briefly, but most of the time, you tried to find it in all the wrong places and all the wrong persons.

Then Jesus shows you the movie of your entire life (most if not all of those who experience near-death attest to this). As you watch this movie of your life, you will not be seeing it from your own perspective but from Jesus' point of view. All of us had our own reasons why we behaved in certain way or treated another person certain way, but this time we will see each moment from His point of view. In each moment of our lives, Jesus called us to be his compassionate hand to others, as he said, "Love one another as I have loved you." We will know whether in each moment we answered that call or not. If we have answered that call, we will feel Our Lord's joy that we have been faithful to his call. But on those moments when we did not answer his call, the moments when we became self-absorbed, selfish, or inconsiderate to others, we will feel Our Lord's sadness and disappointment that his request was rejected. If we hurt another person by what we said or did, we will also feel and see for ourselves how much hurt it caused another person. In addition, we will witness for ourselves how that hurt remains with that person and affects that person's life down the road. Few months ago, an Iraqi American came to various parishes in Baton Rouge to give a testimony about the movie of his life that he had seen. He said as he was a playboy when he was in his 20's, and as he watched himself womanizing and treated a woman like an object, he felt for himself how that woman carried that hurt into her life and affected her future relationships with other men.

I wonder sometimes what I'll see in the movie of my life. I know I've caused lots of hurts in others in my life prior to becoming a priest, so I'll need lots of boxes of Kleenex to mop up all the tears of contrition. I also know that I'll see all the moments after I became a priest how I was not faithful to my priestly vow. I took the vow of obedience and chastity and a promise to live a simple life. I know I'll feel Our Lord's disappointment for all the time and money I spent going to Best Buy to hoard electronic toys when I should have spent that time for others. I know also that I'll see all the moments when I celebrated mass irreverently, all the moments when I failed in my charity toward those who come to confession or for counseling. I'll see all the moments when I failed to uphold what I vowed to the bishop on the day of my ordination--that I was going to faithfully teach the Church teachings even if I wasn't 100% behind it, even if it meant I would be rebuked or ridiculed. How about you guys? What would be your embarrassing moments when Jesus would be sad and disappointed? Wouldn't it be the moments when in the family life, holiness was secondary where it was not modeled by the parents to the children? Wouldn't it be all of our selfish preoccupations, self-absorptions that kept us from giving ourselves to our children and our spouse? Wouldn't it be all the moments that we didn't keep our marriage vow, to honor and to respect our spouse and to raise our children in the faith?

After seeing the movie of all of our life, we'll be asked just two questions by Jesus. "Are you sorry for your sins?" Then, "Do you love me?" And we'll say to Jesus, "Lord, I know you have forgiven me for all of my sins through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Anointing of the Sick. But after seeing the hurts that I caused in some of the people, I cannot bear to enter Heaven just yet.  I want to be able to to forgive myself for what I have done. I want to come to peace with what I have done. So I would like to do reparation for the hurts that I caused the persons still living." And that place or time of reparation where we come to terms with what we have done is called 'Purgatory.'

After telling all this, I then began to hear his confession. He said he cannot remember his sins. So I simply said, "Say, 'yes' or 'no' to the following questions." Are you sorry for all the times you have been prideful where you placed yourself above others and even God and His Church? Are you sorry for all the times you have been angry, resentful, and even harbored hatred? Are you sorry for all the times you have been lustful and when you have not been faithful to your marriage vows? Are you sorry for all the times you have been gluttonous when you consumed, used, or drank something more than you should? Are you sorry for all the times when you were envious or jealous? Are you sorry for all the times when you were spiritually or physically lazy? Are you sorry for all the times you have been greedy? Are you sorry for all the times when you were not the compassionate hands of God to others? Finally, answer the two questions that Jesus would ask you at the end of watching the movie of your life. Are you sorry for all your sins? Do you love Jesus?" To the last two questions, he answered, 'yes' to both. As a penance, I told him, "You don't have to do the purgatory at the end of your life. You can make reparation right now." And I instructed him to say some prayers for those he hurt in his life. Then I said, "Now you are prepared to meet Our Lord. And I'm finished with my tour of your end of life." He was silent. He simply said, "Thank you for coming." I had the sense that he was pondering what he would see in the movie of his life. And I sensed him thinking to himself, "Why did I wait so long to live a more holy and joyful life?" As I got into my car, I was thinking to myself, 'I need to do what I told him. I need to live a holy and joyful life now." I hope that's what all of us can take away from that visit to the hospice.