Funeral: Roberta "Bobbie" Mcdonald - July 12, 2010

The evening before Bobbie passed away, I was nearby her house at a hospice about 15 minutes away, giving Last Rites to a dying man. He was surrounded by his daughters, and before I began prayers, I reminded the family that our dying moment is sacred. It is sacred because it is during that moment that the veil between this world and the next is very thin. I said to them it is not unusual for the person dying to see and hear deceased loved ones, saints, and angels. In fact it is part of our faith. Listen to one of the prayers in the Last Rites. It says, "I commend you, my dear sister, to almighty God, and entrust you to your Creator. May you return to him who formed you from the dust of the earth. May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life. May you see your Redeemer face to face, and enjoy the vision of God forever." Earlier that day Bobbie's daughters, Cathy and Carol told me a powerful experience with her mother the previous night so I told that story to that family as a demonstration of that very "communion of saints."

On Monday night, Bobbie's daughter, Carol, was sleeping in a room next to where Bobbie was sleeping. Then Carol was awakened by a conversation going on in Bobbie's room. Carol approached the room and heard her mother Bobbie speaking to someone. Carol did not see anyone in front of Bobbie, and she could not make out what her mother was saying. So Carol decided to sit down on the chair next to her mother. As she sat there, Carol distinctly heard a lady's voice speaking to her mother. And her mother replied back to that voice. Again, Carol could not understand what was being spoken between the two. The next morning, she told what happened to her sister Cathy. And Cathy then told this to her best friend Tatsie. And Tatsie began to cry. She told Cathy that the previous evening, Tatsie was praying to her deceased mother, asking her to be with Cathy's mother. Is it not likely then, that Carol heard a conversation between Tatsie's mom and her own mother?

After giving the Last Rites to that dying man, I headed for Bobbie's house. When I got there, Bobbie was deep in sleep, taking very shallow breaths. Only few days ago, she was conscious, able to talk and plan her own funeral mass. Mike her husband, Carol, and JoAnn her daughter-in-law were present as well. I asked them, especially Bobbie, what they wanted me to preach about. Bobbie first said, "I want to tell the Lord that I have strong faith in Him, that I love Him, that I believe in Him with all my heart. I have always done my best, always taught my children right from wrong." Then Carol chimed in, "Mama always taught us to do the right thing." And Bobbie demonstrated to her children the right from wrong not by mere words but by her action. Deloris, the housekeeper for St. Aloysius rectory remembers Bobbie fondly for doing just that. Sometime back, Deloris found out that she may have cancer and was anxious and worried about all the tests and treatments. Cathy told her mother, and Bobbie, who was herself a cancer survivor, not having met Deloris, took her to the hospital and guided her through the process. Deloris remembers how comforting that was especially when Bobbie did not know her. Cathy also recalls how her mother was active with St. Vincent de Paul Society, Mary Bird Perkins Cancer Cen, and all the numerous volunteering she did for Melrose Elementary and preparing food for funerals. In the presence of Mike, Carol, Cathy, and Tuts, I said to Bobbie, "Bobbie, you are one of the first who is so well prepared for death. You have received every grace available for a soul that Church can give. I don't know what else to give you." Bobbie smiled at that.

You can say that Bobbie prepared well for her eternal life, just like the five wise virgins with their lamps mentioned in the Gospe today. What was the real difference between the five wise virgins and the five foolish virgins? Both groups knew ahead of time that the bridegroom was coming. But when the bridegroom came, the five wise virgins had oil to burn and five foolish virgins did not. What did that oil represent? The oil represents our faith in action; Word made flesh. Bobbie reminded me that I as a priest, know a lot about God, scriptures, and theology. I had 6 years of seminary, learning all about God. But just knowing about God is equivalent to a lamp without oil. With all that knowledge, we can get contemptuous. It can be equivalent to the attitude of the five foolish virgins who probably thought, "Yeah the Bridegroom may come sometime in distant future. But may be He doesn't care. May be He is not real. May be all this stuff about Mary, saints, and angels are all just a makebelief." A lamp full of oil is of humility; a soul who is humble to know that everything is a gift from God realizes that that there is responsibility in turning those gifts and grace into action. A lamp empty of oil is of pride; a soul who rejects child-like attitude asked for by Our Lord and instead charts his own life in his own stubborn way. In the end, for such prideful life, there is no oil in the reservoir to burn, there is not even a flickering of divine life. Can you imagine 6 years of seminary education or even many years of theology, and yet I may not have the divine life flickering in my soul, like the foolish virgins without oil. That's what Bobbie taught me. Do we believe in Jesus, sincerely and earnestly like Bobbie? Can we say like Bobbie, "I believe in Jesus with all my heart and always I have done my best for Him." Do we desire to hear from Our Lord at the end of our life, "Well done, good and faithful servant"?

A day after the incident where Carol heard the conversation between her mom and Tatsie's mother, Mike, Carol, and Cathy were by Bobbie's bedside. Bobbie woke up from sleep, looked around and said, "Why are you guys all standing around as though I'm dying. What time is it?" They replied, "Mama it's 8:30 at night." Bobbie said, "3:30." They replied, "No mama it's 8:30 at night." Bobbie insisted, "3:30." And Mike was puzzled. Bobbie was never known to care about what time of the day it was.

Early Friday morning at 2 AM, Cathy woke up to give her mom her medicine. She noticed how shallow her mother's breathing was. Carol woke up as well. After one look at her mom's face, she went and woke up her dad. Carol noticed how there seemed to be no life in her mom's face even as she breathed.

At last, that morning, Bobbie breathed her last. Our Lord in today's gospel said, "Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour." Our Lord was again reminding us to prepare. When Mike, Carol, and Cathy looked at the clock when Bobbie passed, it read 3:30. I wonder how Bobbie knew.